My mission...or goal...or whatever lofty ambition...

I am like a lot of thirty year old new-ish moms. I am starting to get comfortable in the role of mother, I am wrestling with guilt about going back to work and am somewhat unhappy with my post-natal weight loss efforts. I am getting older, and starting to feel like age may actually be something that I can not avoid. As the mother of a daughter I try everyday to remember not to say anything bad about the way I look, in case I emotionally scar my precious child beyond repair and send her shrieking into therapy.

So, like most women in my situation I have decided to enter a swimsuit modelling contest with a bunch of college age beauties.

Pardon me?

No, seriously. I decided the best way to kick my own butt was the set the bar high, and what bar could be higher than participating in the Bikini Jam offered by Ujena? I have seen the catalogues and the websites, these are some beautiful, fit (young) women.

These girls do not know what a stretch mark is, they think cellulite is something grannies get and can still “Eat whatever I want and not gain a pound.” Their entire lives revolve around partying, boyfriends, school and working out.

Me? I am turning 31 this year have a three year old daughter and a looong way to go. I work full-time and am taking a challending correspondence course for the army. I should also mention my husband occasionally likes to spend a few minutes with me from time to time. I am not (yet) fit, and am not quite 18 year old anymore. Does that mean that the expiry date on my chances is long past?

HELL NO!

I have decided that I CAN do THIS, and moreover, if I can, so can anyone! I am not rich, I will be doing this the old-fashioned way (on the cheap). There are no shortcuts for me, no plastic surgery, no home gym full of expensive equipment.

I am an officer cadet in the Canadian army, I know what it is like to get my ass kicked, and now I have to do it again. This next year will be a struggle. Sometimes is will be humourous (I am not a natural exerciser by any stretch and use humour to break the ice), sometimes it may be sad but I can promise two things, it will always be challenging (read that as really, really hard) and it will be entertaining. Over the next year I am going to work-out, train and learn everything I can about being a success at the next Bikini Jam. I am not going into this just to have fun, I am serious about making a good showing. I admit I am not starting from square one, I have the rudimentary equipment necessary, I modelled (when I was 19), so I know I am reasonably attractive. I have taken a lot of acting classes, so I am fairly comfortable out there.

I want to show the world of moms out there that it isn’t too late, that if you have a dream (however unrealistic it may seem) you need to go for it and make it happen. My dream was to be a model or actress when I was younger, I gave it up to pursue “responsible” goals. I want to travel, write about my experiences, make some cash and be able to say one day that I tried once upon a time to reach the stars. I want to inspire my own daughter that whatever she wants she is no only capable, but morally bound to make her dreams come true.

Time to be irresponsible.

Is it time to put on a bikini and stride confidently in front of strangers that will not only be looking, but also photographing, and judging?

You bet!

I am woman, here me ROAR!